Monday, January 10, 2011
The Beautification of Ugly pt. 2
Uriel Bakvagook was a fine man. He dedicated most of his time to the maintanance of 13 strands of hair, the last remaining folicles after a prank spider put in his tea had brought him to such an upset state that, in an attempt to put his hat on to leave the vicinity of his prankers, he angrily poured hot water all over his head by mistake.
This is Smithen Mrooler. In this surprise snapshot, the subject was asked to make his face look like a toilet. The debate over whether this is the best human facial representation of a toilet continues to this day, but it is unaminous among the dwarf-folk of Ar Gwarad Bihan that Smithen is the most handsome dice inspector out of Abkhazia.
Beulah Barnshit (pronounced BAHN-SHEED) was the most feared school teacher of the late 17th century to the late 19th century before ultimately retiring to a lonely cottage in Milton. After a five year hiatus, Beulah is back on the scene as an odor tester for Milton's Artificial Mold and Mildew R&D facility. She chose what is considered to be today's worst smelling and dangerous jobs. When asked why, Ms. Barnshit responded "Nothing is worse than the smell of those horrible school children!"